Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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