"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
