Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
