We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
