honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize