Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Soap is not a condiment
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
