I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
