drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize