I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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