wake up i wanna do it froggy style
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
