Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she looked like the before picture.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
