She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well I just put wine in my tea
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
