You really coming over, don't trick.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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