I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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