She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize