one might say we're banned from that church
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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