I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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