I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
