is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize