Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
