remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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