just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
A bitchslap is in order.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
