Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
meet me or not, i'm out of control
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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