i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he puts the penis in happiness.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
