Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
