in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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