So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
