people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
this hospital has no fireball
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
