I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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