Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
