You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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