That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
