a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
