Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think I sprained my soul last night
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize