That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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