I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
