i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
