Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just gift wrapped bread.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
