i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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