Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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