i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
