yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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