you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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