Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i drank out of a bidet.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
