Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
