i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
