hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
