so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
