I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
