can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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