shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
