I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
