I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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