You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
