Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.

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(757): View more from Virginia

I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.

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(516): View more from New York

my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall

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(416): View more from Toronto

i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon

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(512): View more from Texas

It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends

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(708): View more from Illinois

You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.

(1-708): View more from Illinois

Was who let the dogs out playing?

(708): View more from Illinois

Ya. You started barking when it ended

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(909): View more from California

It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.

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(259): View more from

man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day

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