He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
