its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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