So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
