I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
