I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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