Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
