I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
