U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
