I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
