My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
