You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
