Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
