Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
