FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
