Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
